Lary Bloom
Writer, Editor, Teacher
The Bloom Blog
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Friday, March 03, 2006
How To Save The State Budget
While the Connecticut legislature mulls (isn't that a wonderful headline verb?) changes in the way the state does business with its contractors (in the wake of the Governor Rowland scandal), I offer a proposal that would permanently ensure yearly surpluses:"Connecticut Policy Procedure 305030 (4f, scru u): When considering payment of a contractor please use the following method, based on a real case: Engage, for example, a writer in September to give the keynote speech in November to the convention of the Connecticut Commission on Culture and Tourism. Tell him you will pay him an honorarium. He will be delighted, because he is a writer, and writers need honoraria to eat. He will assume, of course, that you will pay him promptly. But you will do no such thing. You will string him along, sending him this form and that, this excuse and that, and say you are doing the best you can. You, of course, will be getting your own regular paychecks all along, so it won't bother you much. Morever, you will have the satisfaction of saving the state a few hundred dollars. And know that if your colleagues follow your excellent example the state will never spend a dime on contractors. Never mind that the following March, the writer, who admits that he needs honoraria to eat, is calling every week and now without any trace of a sense of humor.
"Violations of this new policy will be dealt with harshly. What do you think we are, honorable?"
Posted by:Lary Bloom at 4:58 AM
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