Lary Bloom
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Friday, January 20, 2006
The New 4F Army
The U.S. Army today raised the age limit for enlistment to 39, an increase of five years. This is a response to flagging recruitment. Young folks, apparently, don't seem enticed by the prospect having their asses shot off while fighting a war on behalf of America's chickenhawks.The Army's new plan is a step in the right direction, but I think the Pentagon would be wiser to adopt an entirely new , enlightened, and cost-saving age policy.
We should bring back the draft, and select only men who are at least 62 years old (coincidentally, my age). In this way, we wouldn't be shipping the young and promising off to war and death or dismemberment -- only the generation that, well, doesn't have that long to live anyway. Think of it. The government would need to finance only a one-way trip to Iraq. We'd never make it back. And, if we were lucky enough to survive with disabling wounds, the cost of keeping us in VA hospitals would be less taxing.
There was a time when being 4F (physically or otherwise disabled) kept a person out of the service. But I like the sound of the new 4F Army: Fainting, Farting, Forgetting, and (Finally) Falling.
Posted by:Lary Bloom at 11:26 AM
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